(child yells) - Margaret have some-- - No!

- [Woman] Have some chicken.

(child crying) Does that make you feel better?

Margaret.

(child screams) (children crying) (upbeat music) - Here's what happens.

Here's my son, my beautiful, happy son.

Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy.

And then the wind changes.

And then all of a sudden, not happy, not happy, not happy, not happy.

And then out of nowhere... (Bethany growls) There is my little sweetie, melted down.

What's happening in the brain?

- Children who are younger than like kindergarten age, the part of the brain that controls self-regulation is still under construction.

So in other words, children can feel a sense of anger or injustice over something like not getting a cookie or their favorite toy.

Doesn't happen in all kids.

But for the many kids who do throw tantrums, their feelings of anger and sadness take control of their behavior.

And this overblown reaction usually comes in two emotional responses.

The first one is the anger, hence the word temper in temper tantrum.

And then comes sadness.

Usually the anger dissipates before the sadness, - Nico gets sad, he does.

He has like full on fits and then he needs mama's.

(Bethany whines) He wants a little hug.

That's my favorite part.

- All these emotions we're talking about though, the anger, and the anxiety, and the fear, and the stress, those are survival instincts in us.

We have to have those in order to stay alive.

These young brains don't know how to regulate these instincts, and don't know how to take in the information from the outside world and form a rational response to it.

Like, it's a cookie, it's okay.

I don't need to scream.

That part of the brain's not there yet.

- All right, like Mother, I really do want that cookie.

- [Alok] Some researchers think tantrum reactions evolved to capture the attention of parents or caretakers.

With the anger functioning to get the parents to do what the kid wants.

And the sadness functioning to gain a parent's sympathy or comfort.

- So what's happening in the brain is nothing like what's happening on the sidewalk.

- To illustrate we have a lovely model brain here.

- Oh, that is a mushroom.

- We're gonna split the brain in half.

- Oh brain surgery today.

- To make two hemispheres because we're being super realistic.

- [Bethany] I will use my imagination.

- So this looks delicious, I really like portobello mushroom.

Okay, now we have a cross section of our mushroom brain.

Obviously here, this is the brainstem.

This is gonna send signals from the brain to the rest of the body.

If only we had some paint.

- Paint?

- To delineate it.

- Here you go.

- Awesome.

Blue for brainstem?

- Sure.

- And right here is the amygdala, maybe pink?

- Pink.

- Now this is an almond shaped little thing in the brain.

- Little tiny?

- Little tiny.

That's good.

Okay, here's what we think is going on.

The amygdala is gonna get emotional input of some type of threat, or some type of injustice.

- [Child] This is injustice.

- It then sends a distress signal for things like fear, anxiety or stress to the hypothalamus, which is mushroom brain, maybe it's like right here, there you go.

The hypothalamus will then freak out.

- It's like, ah freak out.

(singing) (dynamic music) The hypothalamus is like, wait act, and will start raising heart rate, blood pressure, and all these other processes that include a rise in adrenaline and related hormones.

Like the Hulk in the Avengers movies.

And it sends signals down through the brainstem to the body.

And you have a full blown meltdown in the form of a tantrum.

(dramatic music) But when kids turn about four, the prefrontal cortex helps moderate behavior.

Think of it as like a traffic cop in the brain that'll help kids with decision making.

The prefrontal cortex is like right up here and can help kids regulate their emotions.

In other words, some type of threat signal comes in and the prefrontal cortex will take a step back and say, hold on, let's think about this before we have an exaggerated response.

So kindergartners should be better at controlling their emotions and handling the ups and downs of their dynamic life.

- So, there is an end in sight.

At some point Nico's PFC will turn into like a super chill person and be like, whoa, whoa, man, you don't need that cookie right now.

- The struggle's real when you're two or three.

If you wanna throw a temper tantrum, go for it.

If you lost your blocks, you know what, let the world know.

- We're talking to two and three year olds now.

- I am.

I'm literally talking directly to them.

- Do it.

- If you want to watch "Parentallogic" and your parent is like, no, that's pediatrician approved because you shouldn't be on a screen anyway.

(dynamic music)