(somber music) - My name is James Daniel Bowien.

I was born May 2nd, 1982 in Seoul, Korea.

I don't recall anything of Seoul because at the age of three months I was adopted by my parents, and I was on a plane to Oklahoma City.

(airplane roaring) (quirky upbeat music) (model squeaking) (model creaking) (pineapple whooshes) (mechanical eye groaning) (part ticking) (door squeaking) (quirky upbeat music continues) (part creaking) (model grunts) (model squeaking and creaking) (model sniffing) (truck humming) (truck honking) You ever shoot these out of these?

It goes really far.

(sirens wailing) (blows) Look how far that goes.

Growing up in Oklahoma was interesting with two American parents because people would always be like, "Who's this Asian kid wandering around that was lost from his parents?"

I didn't have a childhood like other kids have.

Still fortunate that I had the childhood I had, but my life has always been answering these questions, these questions that people have that they just feel for some reason they have to ask you.

(wings fluttering) "Why are you adopted?"

"Did you choose your family?"

"Oh, well, you're gonna find your real parents."

My childhood was great in many ways, but it was also really difficult.

My mom got sick when I was like 11 or 12.

She was sick for a long time, and she never got better.

And then I remember when she passed away, I was at work.

I'd just gotten this new motorcycle.

I was like practicing my wheelies in the parking lot of the mall 'cause it was so big.

(motorcycle revving) (phone ringing) I remember this lady, Joyce, was at the optometrist's office, and, you know, we worked together, and she was like, "Hey, I think your dad called you, and he said it's urgent."

My dad was like on the phone.

He was crying.

And he just said, "You know, your mom didn't make it."

(disconnect tone beeping) (static hissing) I got on my motorcycle.

I was like going 130 miles an hour, and I got home in like 20, 30 minutes.

I remember just laying in her bed and just like crying and just being really sad.

That night I just wanted to go out with my friends.

(engine cranking) It was a long car ride.

It was like 45 minutes.

I felt all 45 minutes of it.

We just didn't talk the whole ride out there.

We drank beer in a field somewhere.

Like, that's what we'd do.

It was days, and it was like one of the biggest moments of my life.

(static hissing) (horn honking) After my mom passed away, there was no light that went off that was like, "I'm going to explore my Korean heritage and find out where I came from."

(bells chiming) I don't think I wanted to make myself that vulnerable 'cause it's scary.

It's like it could go really great, or it (laughs) could go really not great.

But if it went great, how good it could be.

(dream-like harp music) (upbeat music) (teen chattering in foreign language) (teens laughing) (traffic humming) (peppers clattering) (peppers rustling) (upbeat music continues) (peppers clattering) (machine rattling) (peppers clattering) (peppers rustling) (machine humming) (handle clicking) (machine whirring) (tool clanking) (handle clicking) (teacher speaks in Korean) - Okay.

- Yeah.

(teacher speaks in Korean) (upbeat music continues) - All, everything?

(teacher speaks in Korean) - [Danny] Okay, okay.

- [Teacher] Okay.

(teacher speaks in Korean) - Wanna stir it?

- Mm.

(teacher speaks in foreign language) - Oh, wow.

(teacher speaks in Korean) - [Danny] So it's like very fermented, right?

(mixer clattering) (static hissing) So when you grind this at the mill, do they grind the seeds too?

They grind everything?

(teacher speaks in Korean) - I see, so it won't be as red.

Huh, so beautiful.

The color is like so pretty.

(teacher speaks in foreign language) - [Danny] And this is coarse salt.

This is like big salt.

(teacher speaks in Korean) - Can I taste it?

Needs more salt or no?

(teacher speaks in Korean) - Oh yeah.

(teacher speaks in Korean) - It's good.

(teacher laughs) (Danny speaks in Korean) (teacher speaks in Korean) - [Danny] Without gochujang, you can't have Korean food, right?

(teacher speaks in Korean) (teacher continues speaking in Korean) (teacher continues speaking in Korean) - [Danny] Gently.

(laughs) (teacher speaks in Korean) - I didn't actually even taste Korean food until I was like 19, and that was one of the first things I tasted, was gochujang.

And it was funny because I never had anything like this before in my life, but when I ate it, it just felt like something I had had before.

It didn't feel foreign.

It felt very natural.

I instantly liked it.

(teacher speaks in Korean) - That's a good question.

My childhood, when I was young, I was really into food, but the food in Oklahoma is like, (exhales) it's like a lot of instant, you know, kind of like...

I don't know, have you ever had Hamburger Helper before?

(light music) (wheels rattling) (Danny speaks faintly) (shopper whistling) (shoppers chattering) (food rattling) (box thudding) (mellow music) When I think about like what we eat on a daily basis as a family... Mayonnaise?

Our every meal will be based around like a 1 1/2 pound chunk of like ground beef put into a box of Hamburger Helper.

That's when I actually started cooking to be honest.

I started cooking for my family so it'd be ready every night at five.

It's not like the happiest memory, but I laugh about it, and I still like get a hankering for it sometimes.

It was still delicious.

Today I chose the most challenging one.

It's the cheesy ranch burger.

Like, honestly in the 5,000 times I've made this, like I never mess it up.

It's pretty foolproof.

It's like cheesy pasta.

Like, of course it's good.

I mean, I also was a kid.

Like, I wanted to play my Nintendo and watch MTV or something.

So I basically would just try to get it over with as quickly as possible.

It was sustenance.

It wasn't about like this really enjoyable, elaborate thing.

It was like I gotta get food on the table because everyone needs to eat, and I'm the only one here right now to make it.

I didn't really have anybody else at the house that would like cook.

My dad was working all day.

So, (food sizzling) not all food memories have to be these like shiny, fluffy, like, you know, beautiful, magical experiences.

Food can also be a sad thing, and that's okay too.

I'm not gonna try to make this look pretty.

This is definitely, it will stick to your ribs.

I used to be able to eat one of these by myself when I was younger.

(Danny munching) Yeah.

It's good.

Exactly the same, but...

I feel like it's something that I've tried to like get as far away from as I could just because this dish tastes like my past.

It took me so long in my life to be comfortable being who I am and being myself.

I'm figuring that out now as an adult.

I've had to kind of rewire like who I am as a person and find myself.

I was brought up in a very fundamentally Christian household.

I much rather would've been the kid playing baseball and going to soccer practice, and instead we were gonna church like five nights a week.

I grew up in Oklahoma, and it's probably like this in Korea.

Like everyone's really religious.

They go to church.

And so I feel like, you know, it'd be cool to get like a devil tattoo or something like that.

I know the placement of where I want.

I mean, I was thinking like somewhere like starting here and then kind of going down, you know, like- - Pain.

- I know, but it's temporary, right?

- Mm-hm.

- So, I'll just take this off.

(glasses clanking) This is not my act of rebellion, but it's really spontaneous, nothing I've really thought about, just kind of fun, you know?

This isn't like a scary-looking, you know, devil or anything like that, which is kind of cool.

(brooding music) Oh man, this is getting good.

It's kind of traditional, but it's not.

It's like dark, but it's not like super scary.

How have you found your style?

'Cause it's very unique.

It's not like anything...

I haven't really seen anything like this.

- First time I tried to draw something very nice, handsome.

These days more like, mm.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Don't make sense.

- Right, right.

That's cool.

- Yeah, see, this knee heading this way, but toes this way.

- Yeah, that's good.

That's amazing.

(KyungWan laughs) That's so cool, man.

I love that.

You don't take yourself too seriously.

That's so important to me.

It's not about being like the best.

It's about being unique.

- It's about being different.

- Yeah.

- It's about having fun.

My dad was always like, "As long as you're happy," you know?

If you're happy, just do whatever you want because when I wanted to become a chef, like, you know, it wasn't still like...

It wasn't what it is now.

- Now, like, cooking is very popular in Korea.

Like chef is popular job.

- Oh really?

- Like, young people wanna be chef.

- Oh man, they should probably be doctors.

(both laugh) No, I'm joking.

So like, yeah, this is like the celebrity chef of Korea, and he looks like Emeril.

Chefs in Korea don't look like me right now.

I just don't see a lot of tattooed chefs with their nails painted being taken like really seriously yet.

Tattoos are still like quasi-illegal in Korea.

It's really difficult to go off in Korea the way that you can in the States.

But that reminded me in a lot of ways of growing up in Oklahoma.

Would Korea accept me as me?

'Cause I will never do anything in my life where I have to become something that I'm not.

Growing up, you know, I would walk into restaurants with my parents, and people would just be like, "Wait a minute, like, what's going on here?"

In Korea, it's kind of the same thing for me now.

It's like I'll walk up to go pay for a coffee or something, and they'll speak to me in Korean, and I'll be like...

It's kind of hard for me to explain and be like, "I don't speak Korean," because they're like, "Really?

Like, what..." And I have to be like, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Korean."

It's really weird, you know?

It's weird to like not really fit into, like, this puzzle.

I'm this puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit in yet.

You're like "Ah, it goes there," and it doesn't.

You gotta take it out.

That's kind of the feeling I'm feeling now here.

It's weird 'cause it is my home, you know?

(horn honking) (scooter humming) (tattoo machine buzzing) (brooding music) (tattoo machine buzzing) (brooding music continues) (suspenseful brooding music) (horns honking) (sirens wailing) (tank humming) (liquor splashing) (food sizzling) (patrons speaking in Korean) (suspenseful brooding continues) (vehicle humming) (discordant rock music) (suspenseful brooding music continues) (singer yelling) (suspenseful brooding music continues) (patron laughing) (quirky electronic music) If you're growing up in Korea, you eat Shin Ramen.

Shin Ramen is like everywhere.

Instant ramen in the states kind of gets this bad wrap.

People think it's kind of trashy 'cause it's so cheap, but not this specific type, Shin Ramen.

(static chattering) Somebody somewhere is eating this every day, every moment of the day.

It's not just a breakfast thing.

It's not a lunch thing.

It's not a dinner thing.

It's breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night.

Good rule of thumb is kind of not cooking the noodle too much 'cause it's like anything.

You don't want it to be overcooked.

One of the fun things about this is adding embellishments.

You know, it's funny that like it never crossed my mind to add something to my ramen, like cracking egg in it or something.

One of my favorite ways to eat this is when you add rice cakes.

I like scrambled eggs a lot.

Kind of ribbon them in at the last second.

Cheese is always a really big deal.

Do we have any cheese?

Maybe mozzarella, buffalo mozz?

This is how you put together, you know, ramen.

You're like, "What do we have?"

Oh, grab that really quick.

It's very stoner-y, but this isn't like a kitschy thing.

It's not ironic, right?

I like poblanos and serranos.

Put 'em on a grill.

(fire hissing) I love the flavor of smoke.

I like to get the poblanos really blackened, but I like to take the serranos a hair less just because they're really spicy.

The more you roast 'em, the more spicy they get.

I love all the skin on here.

I love all this charred outer part.

It really gives a lot of depth of flavor.

So I'll get one of these poblanos and just cut it up to like little rings.

And then I'll grab one of these like little spicy serrano chilies.

I mean, I like to leave it kind of big so it's spicy.

You get like a spicy bite every once in a while.

Since this is spicy, cheese is a big thing.

We have buffalo mozzarella at the restaurant, so I'll use that.

Chrysanthemum greens.

The herbs are really important to me.

I've always wanted do this.

I've never done it before, mapo tofu on top.

And I like to get chili oil because I like things spicy.

And these sesame leaves are like one of my favorite things in the world, the amazing older sibling to shiso.

Kind of has the flavor of like the citrusy notes of shiso, but it's a lot beefier.

And then, yeah, the seaweed.

I like the Korean seaweed or roasted seaweed, but you can use whatever you want.

And then the last thing I like to do, roasted soybean powder.

I usually dip like barbecue pork in this.

So you just took like a... How much is this?

You just took $1.50 thing of soup and made it into something that, you know, that doesn't taste like a 1.50 package of soup.

(knife tapping) Maybe a sharper knife.

Do you like spicy food?

Do you like things really spicy or kind of spicy?

(teacher speaks in Korean) - I'm gonna make something for you.

It's one of my favorite things to eat.

This is a dish that I make at the restaurant.

And at the restaurant we use chili powder, but I'm gonna use your gochujang for this.

(lighthearted music) (TV knob clicks) I'm gonna make a vinaigrette out of the gochujang, and I'm gonna add a little bit of lemon juice.

Take the chilies out here.

All right.

A little bit of the fish sauce but not too much.

Add a little bit of salt, pepper, a little bit of olive oil.

(sauce sloshing) (James slurping) Oh yeah.

Go head.

(teacher slurps) Sour right?

- Mm.

(teacher speaks in Korean) - And then I'm gonna just dress raw beef, and then we'll make a ssam, and we'll eat it.

You wanna peel this for me?

While you're peeling that, I will cut some Hanwoo beef.

(lighthearted music continues) Nice peeling.

(laughs) It's so good.

Your fruit peeling skills are very good.

As a chef, you know, from the US, we have peelers, but like I didn't know how to peel a pear when I came to Korea the first time.

It was very embarrassing.

(knife tapping) A lot of chefs in the US, like, would bake food that they grew up making, like, food of their heritage.

So it's kind of weird how, you know, I'm making food that's not something I grew up with, or it's not part of my heritage.

It's just something I really like a lot.

So now we can make some ssam.

I like to add fried garlic.

(garlic clattering) And to have these like lettuces and herbs also complement the meat.

The idea here is that we'll have flavors that are like sweet, sour, bitter, a little salty.

I like to use fish eggs.

Flavors of the ocean and flavors of the land are very, very...

They complement each other really well.

(teacher speaks in Korean) (Danny speaks in Korean and laughs) (food crunching) - [Teacher] Mm.

(speaks in Korean) - [Danny] You taste everything, right?

(teacher speaks in Korean) - Wow, perfect.

(hands clapping) (teacher speaks in Korean) - Texture, yeah.

(teacher speaks in Korean) (crew member laughs) - I don't get nervous when other chefs come to the restaurant.

I get nervous when I cook for like, you know, moms.

Thank you for letting me make a mess in your kitchen.

(laughs) It's really special, you know, like to think that just food, that like gochujang can bring me all the way back from Oklahoma to Korea.

Oh, yeah, I think we should go this way, I think.

It's funny, I'll walk around Korea like I know where I'm going.

Oh, wait.

What street is this?

And I have no idea (laughs) where I'm going.

It's something that's very foreign to me, but it feels very like oddly comfortable and familiar.

I like when you can go outside, and it feels like it's just daytime.

It's like so bright.

(worker speaking in foreign language) - There's something here that I can't put my finger on, and I don't know...

I don't really know how to verbalize what it is, but I just feel like there's some sort of genuine answer here for me.

(switch clicks) (air screeches) (light electronic music) (light electronic music continues) (light electronic music continues) (text thuds) (signal chattering)