(CAR HORN) VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite celebrities...

It's not worth a tenner.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... You're learning.

VO: ..and a classic car.

This is very exciting, isn't it?

It is.

VO: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

Got a nice ring to it.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

Come on.

VO: But it's no easy ride.

RICHARD: Brake.

DOMINIC: I can't!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

I hope I don't live to regret this.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

We've definitely got a problem.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

You'd never catch me buying anything like that.

VO: There will be worthy winners... (THEY CHEER) VO: ..and valiant losers.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah.

VO: Ah, just look at that.

The beautiful highways and byways of East Sussex.

God's country.

Perfect for a peaceful pootle in a classic motorcar.

JULIE GRAHAM: Right, hang on.

Right, that's first.

TAMZIN OUTHWAITE: Second... JULIE: Yeah.

TAMZIN: We don't need to go into fourth.

I'm not even gonna attempt to go into fourth.

VO: Up front in this beautiful 1982 Citroen Dyane are actors Tamzin Outhwaite and Julie Graham.

TAMZIN: So my mum and dad, weirdly, had the Citroen Dyane.

JULIE: No?

TAMZIN: Yeah.

And the same color and everything.

JULIE: (GASPS) The same color?

TAMZIN: Everything!

And my mum used to love buying French breadsticks.

I used to hold the breadsticks out of the top.

Alright, we need to...we need to get some breadsticks.

We need to get some breadsticks, definitely.

It's like the old days, when we first met.

Isn't it?

Cuz we had to drive together, do you remember?

Yeah!

I had to...I had to rescue you from your wedding.

TAMZIN: From my own wedding.

JULIE: In a show called... TAMZIN: Walk Away And I Stumble.

JULIE: Walk Away And I Stumble.

VO: Tamzin graduated from one of the UK's most loved soap opera stars to a familiar face on all manner of programming.

While Scottish television and film actress Julie earned her stripes over years of performing, playing Ravio in Doctor Who and Rhona Kelly in Scottish crime drama Shetland.

JULIE: We could actually be in the French countryside now.

We could!

Pootling about, because that's what I love about these cars.

You always...you don't drive, you pootle.

Oh...I love it!

I love a pootle.

VO: On this fine spring morning, they are beginning their pootle in Lewes, ending up at the auction in Aylsham in Norfolk.

Tamzin and Julie will each have £400 to spend on antiques.

And they'll be assisted by our experts, Natasha Raskin Sharp and David Harper.

Do you think they'll be familiar with this sort of surrounding?

Er, no, but I think they'll be very confident, as they generally are, aren't they?

NATASHA: The actors!

DAVID: The actors.

The actors.

Of course, they can just fake it.

They can just pretend they're antiques dealers.

VO: Natasha and David are at the first shop, which is in the picturesque town of Lewes, home to the largest Bonfire Night celebrations in the country, with up to 80,000 people lining the streets.

Hoping for whiz-bangs in the saleroom, Emporium Antiques is where our celebs will be foraging.

JULIE: What do you know about antiques?

TAMZIN: Ah... JULIE: Because I know nothing.

I really love car-boot sales, vintage fairs and things like that.

Yeah, I love a vintage fair.

But when it comes to actual antiques that are worth anything...

I know.

..I'm not sure that I know much about that.

Yeah, I'm a total amateur.

Can you haggle in an antique shop?

JULIE: Is that bad form?

TAMZIN: Of course you can.

JULIE: Oh, can you?!

TAMZIN: No... TAMZIN: Of course you can.

JULIE: Do you think so?

Listen, you can haggle anywhere.

If you're my dad...

In a restaurant?

..you can even haggle in a supermarket.

I'm not sure who to expect to buddy up with actually.

Well, what are your thoughts?

Well, Julie, obviously a fellow Scot.

Yeah.

VO: I don't want to rush you, but our dynamic duo are arriving right now.

JULIE: Excited?

TAMZIN: I am!

JULIE: Oh!

TAMZIN: Oh, stop.

That's OK. DAVID: I did see Julie once, 30 years ago.

NATASHA: Did you?

DAVID: I was in a Jacuzzi.

VO: David, the mind boggles.

JULIE: You need to let me out.

Er...driver?

(POSH ACCENT) Thank you so much!

VO: Right.

JULIE: Right, let's go.

VO: Time to meet the experts.

JULIE: (CHUCKLES) Hi.

Hello, you!

Lovely to see you.

VO: Old Jacuzzi friends, by the look of it.

DAVID: You look fabulous.

JULIE: I'm so excited... JULIE: Thank you, and you.

DAVID: Oh... JULIE: Summery.

DAVID: We're dressed for Lewes.

I know, darling.

NATASHA: Oh, Tamzin, hi.

TAMZIN: (SOFTLY) Hello.

NATASHA: How are you?

TAMZIN: Very good.

You?

I'm really well.

I mean, I'm in my element.

I love shops like this.

It looks like a great shop.

But what about you...?

Oh, I'm definitely in my element.

OK. VO: This place does have a wealth of wares, from over 70 dealers and arranged over three floors.

This treasure trove is managed by Michele.

DAVID: Right!

Shall we get shopping?

OK.

I'm distracted by that kilt.

I love a man in a kilt.

DAVID: Oh... Well, I'll be very happy to wear that kilt all day.

OK, great.

Well, that's for later.

DAVID: OK!

(LAUGHS) JULIE: (LAUGHS) DAVID: Oh... JULIE: You see, this is the kind of thing that I used to love when I was a kid.

That picture there just takes me right back to my childhood, with the little Mary Jane shoes.

DAVID: Is it because that's how you remember childhood?

DAVID: Like the grassy days...?

JULIE: No, I don't, no.

Oh, God, no.

I was brought up in Glasgow.

It was nothing like that!

I don't think I saw a river till I was about 30.

VO: Well, you'd never know it, Julie.

Now, what's Natasha got her eye on?

NATASHA: They are cool, aren't they?

I mean, I think that this silk material has been added later, for sure, but pop that one down there, then we can... TAMZIN: It's a pair.

NATASHA: It's a pair, which is nice.

I just really like the leaded glass.

The mixture of materials is really smart, isn't it?

TAMZIN: I love these.

NATASHA: Yeah.

VO: Although these are probably early 20th century, bamboo became popular from the second half of the 19th century onwards, with the development of the Aesthetic Movement.

NATASHA: Well, unfortunately, condition wise, they're not so original.

TAMZIN: I think this reeks of an upcycle.

NATASHA: It reeks of an upcycle!

Right, OK. Well, maybe we should step away, then.

TAMZIN: But I do like this little stool.

20th century oak stool.

Not quite a chair.

VO: The ticket price is £48.

Oh!

VO: Oops-a-daisy!

NATASHA: Are you OK?!

TAMZIN: It's not very big.

In fact, my bum is much bigger than the stool.

But look... NATASHA: That is just a humble farmhouse, country house, maybe every day for the milking.

Maybe it's too low for milking, but maybe it's...

I don't know, have you ever milked a cow?

TAMZIN: No.

NATASHA: Feel good?

TAMZIN: But I think...this is my favorite, and I reckon it probably won't sell for any more.

In fact, it'll probably make a loss, but it's got a story.

In my head, it's got a story.

OK... And at £48, hey, you can have a haggle.

VO: Where have Julie and David got to?

JULIE: Let sleeping dogs lie.

DAVID: Aw... VO: Meet Nelly and Toto, celebrities themselves in Lewes.

Sweet!

Look to the left.

VO: There are dogs everywhere in this shop.

JULIE: Aww... DAVID: Because you love dogs.

JULIE: He really...

I adore dogs.

He is beautiful.

DAVID: (CHUCKLES) Look at his wee face!

That dog is loved.

DAVID: He is.

And the great British public love dogs.

I know.

So when he goes into auction, he will light up the saleroom, won't he?

Yes, well, I think so.

He should.

He deserves a loving home.

DAVID: And there are collectors of miniature paintings.

Right, OK. And of course, collectors of anything dog-related.

Right.

So I think that's very strong in that regard.

JULIE: OK. DAVID: Shall we do it?

JULIE: Yes.

DAVID: Come on.

VO: Very promising.

NATASHA: Oh, wow.

OK.

I'm always on the lookout for these.

What do you think of these wall lamps?

TAMZIN: I love them.

Set of four... NATASHA: I wonder if they're priced... NATASHA: Oh, it's a set of four!

TAMZIN: 185.

NATASHA: That's really competitively priced!

Actually, it's all about the pineapples, which aren't really instantly recognizable as pineapples.

They look more acorn.

VO: Pineapples became popular as motifs in the Georgian period and were a display of wealth, hospitality, and particularly for families with overseas business empires.

It was to say, "I have so much money, so much wealth, I can bring these exotic fruits over to Britain".

They are just gorgeous.

TAMZIN: So, I say we...we buy these at 185... Or we haggle.

Oh, we definitely haggle.

Yeah, we haggle.

I mean, I'd love to get them sort of around the 150, maybe even 140.

Lighting is really popular at auction.

VO: As long as the bidders are switched on, eh?

Get it?

I love these.

DAVID: Oh, you do?

JULIE: Yes.

DAVID: Tell me why.

JULIE: Well, they're the kind of thing I would definitely have in my house.

I don't know, I was, I suppose, attracted to the color initially.

But how old would they be?

Well, what do you think?

What's your instinct?

Well, I mean, I kind of looked and thought kind of art deco-ish.

DAVID: Yeah, yeah.

OK. JULIE: That's my amateur eye.

DAVID: Well, that's very good, because these are definitely... DAVID: ..1950s.

JULIE: OK. VO: The art deco period proper declined from the start of World War II, but had a revival of interest later on in the 20th century.

Now, priced at 80 quid.

Julie, I think that's a really good spot.

JULIE: Really?

DAVID: I do.

You go to an interior design shop in any major city and buy a pair of lights like that, brand-new, and you're paying many hundreds of pounds.

OK, so, negotiating.

You're good at negotiating?

JULIE: Yes.

DAVID: OK. JULIE: Yes.

DAVID: Gonna leave that to you.

Let's, let's go and get them.

Let's go and get them.

Let's go and get a bargain.

VO: Well, competition is hotting up, with both duos zeroing in on lighting.

Time to get haggling.

The dog portrait is priced at £40 and the wall lights are ticketed at 80.

JULIE: Hi, Michele.

MICHELE: Oh, hello.

JULIE: So we found this... Well, a couple of lovely things, but this doggy, we absolutely... MICHELE: Sweet.

DAVID: He's gorgeous, isn't he?

JULIE: We adore him.

What would be the price, the best price, that you could give us on this item?

25.

DAVID: 25?

JULIE: 25?

Well, that's quite surprising.

You're good at this, aren't you?

You said you were good... How did you do that?

I think 25 is a really good price!

DAVID: I think it's magnificent.

MICHELE: Good.

JULIE: OK, we'll take it for 25.

MICHELE: Great.

JULIE: Yes, absolutely.

Fabulous... Now, I'm gonna be very interested to see how well you do on these lights upstairs.

This is going to be phenomenal.

Over to you, Julie.

OK. Would you take 50 for them?

Ooh, good.

That's what I was going to say, so that's fine.

(SINGS A MYSTICAL TUNE) DAVID: I'm shocked.

JULIE: That was so easy!

OK. VO: Well done, you.

Two items bagged, and you've still got £325 to spend.

DAVID: Thank you very much.

MICHELE: Pleasure, thank you.

Well, if I carry the very heavy dog, do you want to go and get the lights?

(SIGHS) OK... (CHUCKLES) Let me do the boot for you, madam.

JULIE: Thank you, kind sir.

VO: Treat them carefully.

We don't want any breakages.

DAVID: There we are.

Oh, you're driving, are you?

JULIE: Yes... (LAUGHS) DAVID: Oh, OK, right.

VO: Back inside, Tamzin and Natasha fancy the ornate wall lamps at £185 and the tiny stool, priced at 48.

NATASHA: Michele, hi!

TAMZIN: Haggle time.

NATASHA: You ready for this?

MICHELE: Yes... NATASHA: Are you ready for this?

TAMZIN: I am.

NATASHA: You are.

OK. We'd like to give you...175 for both.

190 for the stool and the lights would be OK.

Shake it out.

That was a good deal.

TAMZIN & MICHELE: Thank you.

NATASHA: Michele, thank you very much.

Right, OK. VO: Let's call it £30 for the stool and £160 for the gilt-bronze wall lights.

So they've gone all out and spent nearly half the budget at their first outing.

That's daring tactics.

Michele, thank you very much.

TAMZIN: Thank you.

Thanks.

NATASHA: That was brill.

Thanks.

MICHELE: Bye.

VO: The wall lights will be sent on to the saleroom.

NATASHA: Two down!

VO: In the meanwhile, Tamzin and Natasha are off to their next shop.

Let's catch up with Julie, David and Dyane.

Ha!

DAVID: Oh, OK. JULIE: Oh, oh, I'm shuddering.

That's fine.

You're OK.

Hang on... (GEARBOX CRUNCHES) Hang on.

DAVID: Julie, I've got something to admit.

JULIE: Oh!

Oh, I love an admission.

DAVID: Yeah?

I saw you... Now, I'm not a stalker... ..30 years ago.

JULIE: What?

DAVID: I was in a hot tub.

VO: Not that lark again.

What?!

And you were in a hotel in Darlington.

No!

I saw you, you smiled at me, I smiled at you, and then you disappeared.

And for the last 30 years, I've been waiting to meet you.

JULIE: No!

DAVID: Yeah.

That's not true.

It is absolutely true.

I love that!

VO: Yeah, people meet in the funniest of places.

(GEARBOX CRUNCHES) Right, now... Yeah.

There you go.

No... (GEARBOX CRUNCHES) That's it.

DAVID: And what about Tamzin and you?

The relationship - how long have you known one another for?

We have known each other for, oh, probably about... JULIE: ..10, 20 years.

DAVID: Really?

It was like falling in love.

Aw!

That's lovely.

JULIE: We just looked at each other.

We immediately got on like a house on fire.

That's lovely.

JULIE: I always think, if I needed a suitcase full of cash... DAVID: Yeah.

JULIE: ..and a private plane...

Right.

..at three o'clock in the morning... DAVID: Right.

JULIE: ..I'd ring Tam.

VO: Yes... You couldn't give me her number, could you?

DAVID: So you love her to bits, she's one of your best friends.

Absolutely.

Do you want to thrash the living daylights out of her on Antiques Road Trip?

Of course!

DAVID: Excellent!

JULIE: Absolutely!

VO: That's what we like to hear.

Julie and David's second shop is in breezy Brighton, queen of the south, where Abba won Eurovision in 1974 with Waterloo.

Let's hope there's a history book on the shelf of Eclectic Antiques.

Looks clean and fun.

Wasting no time, Julie.

I like it.

As the name suggests, this shop stocks a range of treasures from bygone times, all curated by manager Dan and his colleague Carrie.

So what curiosities will our industrious duo hone in on?

JULIE: David... David?

(SIGHS) I've done this before.

VO: Shopped-out already, David?

JULIE: David, what do you think about this?

Oh, sorry.

I was just, just checking out the springs on... JULIE: Were you having a nap?

DAVID: N-No.

JULIE: I caught you.

DAVID: I wasn't doing that!

Having a little grandpa nap.

I was, I was!

JULIE: Well, I tell you what... DAVID: Go on.

I'll go and speak to the experts and you go back to sleep.

You go and do the work, basically.

JULIE: There you go, darling.

VO: While David is resting his eyes, poor love, we will catch up with Tamzin and Natasha, who have headed to Worthing.

TAMZIN: Now, this looks really interesting.

NATASHA: It does.

A bit upmarket, actually.

TAMZIN: Yeah...

These are nice.

NATASHA: Nice!

NATASHA: I mean, just shout if something grabs you.

VO: And there's sure to be plenty of hollering here at Reginald Ballum, a former wine merchant who now sells antiques sourced from the UK and Europe, and Glenda is the boss.

NATASHA: Tamzin.

TAMZIN: Yeah.

NATASHA: I know you like a trunk.

TAMZIN: Yeah.

NATASHA: And this is quite attractive.

Not really had a close look.

(GASPS SOFTLY) Oh, I like that.

NATASHA: But...it seems as though someone has made this for a very specific purpose, and they've almost like coopered it, like a barrel... Yeah.

..with the banding, the metal band.

I really like it!

I like it.

Has it got a price?

NATASHA: No!

Hard to age.

I mean, when do we think that's from?

TAMZIN: Who knows?

NATASHA: Who knows?

I mean, it's sort of just first half 20th century, maybe France, maybe Spain or something like that, but just... Shall we just go and make an offer?

TAMZIN: Let's ask... Let's find out how much it is first.

Do you want to go up all guns blazing, holding it like you mean business?

NATASHA: OK, let's do it.

TAMZIN: Yeah.

Watch this.

I'll pass it over to you.

TAMZIN: You watch this.

NATASHA: Go on, Glenda.

This is how it's done... NATASHA: (CHUCKLES) (MIMICS EASTENDERS' THEME) TAMZIN: I'll be like... (MEEKLY) "Glenda, is it alright?"

NATASHA: (LAUGHS) TAMZIN: Hi, Glenda.

GLENDA: Hello.

NATASHA: Hi.

So we found something.

It doesn't have a price on it.

It's a little ammunitions box, so I think... Oh, hold on!

So I did not know that.

NATASHA: OK. GLENDA: Yeah.

We were going off of just what we could see.

TAMZIN: So now that I know that is an ammunition box, I'm less interested.

NATASHA: You're a lover, not a fighter.

(SWEETLY) I'm a lover, not a fighter.

NATASHA: That's where we are.

TAMZIN: But thank you.

NATASHA: Right, OK. Time is running out.

So let's just...

It really is.

What are we gonna do?

Yeah, maybe we should just head towards the door.

Let's have a look over here.

We sort of ignored there... TAMZIN: Yeah.

VO: Back in Brighton, David's had his 40 winks.

There's so much going on in here, isn't there?

JULIE: I know...

I'm loving the globe.

Oh, do you like the globe?

JULIE: I do.

DAVID: OK.

I mean, look, it says here... ..the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

So it's obviously very old.

Ah, well, you see, I love globes for this, because you can sort of rule-of-thumb date a globe.

JULIE: Yeah.

DAVID: And that... ..in itself helps you date it.

So Russian Revolution... DAVID: ..1917.

JULIE: Yeah.

So we know it's post-1917 straight away.

Yeah.

VO: Fascinating.

And if a map says Siam, rather than Thailand, it's pre-1939.

JULIE: What about Africa?

Africa is a great one because the country names have changed so many times over the years.

JULIE: Yeah.

So I'll go down to Southern Africa.

JULIE: OK. DAVID: So here we've got Southern Rhodesia... JULIE: (GASPS) Zimbabwe.

..and then above it Northern Rhodesia, which is of course Zambia.

So if that's the case, I think it is probably 1950s.

Really?

VO: The globe's a contender, but why not have a look around?

JULIE: Now, I spotted this when we first came in.

DAVID: Oh, OK. JULIE: So what is this?

It's quite... Yeah, and it's in its original box.

That's very good.

JULIE: OK... Chinese?

DAVID: Definitely Chinese.

JULIE: Definitely Chinese?

OK. DAVID: Yeah.

DAVID: It's a stone.

JULIE: It's stone.

OK.

It's stone.

But I think, looking at it, soapstone.

VO: Soapstone is largely composed of compressed talc, which is what makes it so easy to carve.

DAVID: It's a scepter.

JULIE: Scepter.

Or a ruyi...

It's a good luck symbol.

You'd give it as a gift to somebody.

JULIE: Oh, really?

How old would that be?

DAVID: Not ancient.

JULIE: Oh, OK. What I'm gonna do is, I want to look at the box.

JULIE: OK. DAVID: Cuz the box is obviously contemporary to it.

Right.

And it will be something that was bought in probably Hong Kong, '60s, '80s.

JULIE: OK.

Right.

DAVID: And in today's market, very interesting.

JULIE: Yeah.

DAVID: Especially for auction, with online bidding.

OK. Because it will photograph really well.

Ooh.

And the size of it will come across really well.

JULIE: Certainly making it sound more and more attractive.

DAVID: Yeah.

Shall we get a price?

JULIE: Yeah!

DAVID: Put it there for now... Let's go and find a human being.

JULIE: OK. DAVID: Ooh!

JULIE: Oh... VO: The cash register can wait.

This lamp.

Talk to me about it.

This lamp!

But it's really pretty, isn't it?

It's very different.

It's just crying out for a beautiful big...lampshade.

Yeah.

I mean, it's absolutely...

I just love this so much.

DAVID: So you've got stags either side.

JULIE: Yeah.

DAVID: Look at the finish.

DAVID: Look at the bark, as you trace your eye up the tree.

JULIE: Yeah.

You can see that real silvery section.

That's the original finish.

JULIE: OK... Oh, I see, yes.

And if you look down, can you see that shining?

Look down at the base - it's lost it.

So in its day, when new, early part of the 20th century, that was bling central.

Yeah.

Just whack you in the face as soon as you walk in, with the electric light coming down, with the shade bringing the light down onto the deer.

JULIE: Look at these.

Aren't they pretty?

JULIE: Aren't they?

We just... DAVID: We need a price on it.

JULIE: Yes.

DAVID: OK. Good shop, though.

JULIE: OK. DAVID: Keep that there.

VO: Time to haggle.

Remember, Julie and David have also taken a shine to the soapstone good luck carving.

JULIE: So how much is the lamp, the lovely stag lamp?

Well...70...or 60...or even £50.

JULIE: I really want that.

I think you should have it.

JULIE: Yes.

DAVID: I think it's... DAVID: ..your decision.

JULIE: Yeah.

And if it all goes wrong, it's your fault.

I think 50 is a really good price as well.

Yes.

So the other thing that we had our eye on... VO: Now for the soapstone lucky carving.

DAN: That, we can let it go for £100, with the matching case.

Maybe a round 90?

DAN: £90.

Yeah, OK. JULIE: (LAUGHS) VO: So that's £140 in total, leaving 185 in the bank.

JULIE: Bye!

DAVID: Thanks, guys.

Bye.

JULIE: Ooh!

DAVID: Whoa, hello.

Very pleased with this.

DAVID: Fabulous place.

JULIE: I know!

DAVID: Very different.

JULIE: Yeah.

VO: Now, let's wander back to Worthing.

What have Tamzin and Natasha got their eye on next?

TAMZIN: I love this.

NATASHA: Oh...

I actually do own a couple of wooden ladders.

One's actually on the side of my cottage, and I really love...

There's something about a wooden ladder, because you can put towels on it.

NATASHA: Mm-hm.

TAMZIN: You can put... TAMZIN: You can decorate it.

NATASHA: What do I immediately notice?

The same as you, the tapered nature of it is really attractive, and obviously it's something that has a very specific purpose.

Florists love these.

They absolutely love them.

For the florist who has everything.

TAMZIN: Yes.

NATASHA: I really like it.

125.

(WHISPERS) 12... Gosh.

It is all the money.

So it comes down to a bit of a haggle.

But what is life, if not just a bit of a risk?

VO: Now, can Tamzin match Julie's negotiating skills?

TAMZIN: Glenda.

We found something we really like.

Yeah.

It's a fruit picker's wooden ladder.

GLENDA: Right, yeah.

TAMZIN: So it tapers in like that.

It's on for 125, which is hugely overpriced.

NATASHA: (LAUGHS) Hey, that's not a great start.

It's just...

It's a retail price!

I think that's been downstairs for a long time.

It hasn't, actually.

(SIGHS) (SIGHS) I can give you a bit of discount on it.

I could do it for 100.

NATASHA: Would you just do it for £90?

GLENDA: OK. NATASHA: Yes!

TAMZIN: Yeah...!

NATASHA: Thank you, Glenda.

Right, Tamzin has the money.

TAMZIN: Yes, I do... VO: So the fruit picking ladder has been rung up at 90, leaving £120 left in the kitty.

TAMZIN: Ready?

NATASHA: Ready.

I hope you have a plan.

TAMZIN: I do.

NATASHA: Yeah.

OK. Where is this gonna go?

(CHUCKLES) VO: Time for a reunion of old friends.

What a lovely day.

Did you learn a lot?

I think I learned a lot.

I've been learning a lot with the driving.

Yeah, me too...

Which gear are we in?

Erm... Top gear.

VO: These Dyanes are known for their tricky gear change.

And, of course, there's no sat nav.

You've driven down a dead end.

You'll have to reverse.

We haven't found reverse yet, we're still rolling.

JULIE: I know, but I don't know... JULIE: Yes!

TAMZIN: Yes, we're on our way.

I got second.

I got it!

I got it!

JULIE: Woooo!

TAMZIN: Woohoo!

VO: I think that's enough excitement for one day!

Nighty night.

VO: Next morning, Tamzin's in the hot seat.

TAMZIN: How was your expert?

Tash, mine, is just lovely.

Oh, David's a...he's a gem.

So how did you get on with the haggling?

Did you haggle?

Well, I thought I'd be better at it.

I overheard one item, which was the milking stool.

Oh...

But I don't know if you ended up getting it.

Did you?

I'll let you know.

Gosh, she's keeping her cards close to her chest!

I have bought one fabulous thing, which I'm not telling you, cuz if you're not telling me, I'm not telling you.

TAMZIN: What is it?

JULIE: I'm not telling you.

Would you have it in your home?

I would definitely have it in my house.

VO: Yeah.

Do you think she means the dog portrait?

Ha!

Yesterday, Julie bagged that, some retro wall lights, a soapstone good luck carving, and a tall lamp that was sent on to the saleroom.

But will the haul impress Tamzin?

Unlikely.

TAMZIN: Ready for the big reveal?

DAVID: Go on, then.

TAMZIN: What's in the box?

DAVID: She's got it.

NATASHA: Wow.

Look at that!

DAVID: She has got it.

What do you think of that?

It is a ruyi, or a scepter, a gift from one to another, to wish... Health, wealth and happiness.

DAVID: Happiness.

TAMZIN: I love that.

NATASHA: This is my favorite.

DAVID: Oh, mine too.

I just don't understand it.

I adore it.

I hope it was cheap and it's gonna make a big profit.

Can I just have a look at it, see if I'm missing something?

DAVID: Go on, then.

NATASHA: How can you dislike it?

DAVID: She doesn't like dogs.

NATASHA: She has two dogs!

DAVID: But she doesn't like 'em.

TAMZIN: I like 'em, but...

..I wouldn't buy a picture of someone else's dog.

VO: Yesterday, Tamzin picked up some gilt-bronze wall lights, a ladder that's on its way to the auction, and who could forget the small stool?

I don't think that any of our items have a message, do they?

NATASHA: Not really.

JULIE: What about the stool?

TAMZIN: Well, I think the stool.

What's the message?

(CHUCKLES) I just think have a little sit-down.

Don't forget to milk it.

Don't forget to milk the cow.

NATASHA: Have a wee look.

I do love it, actually, I have to say.

Where are the ladders?

We've just got one ladder, but it's a fruit pickers' ladder, so it also has a story.

Well, we have something big as well that we couldn't fit in the car.

DAVID: Yeah.

JULIE: So there.

What was it?

(LAUGHS) This amazing silver light... We've got two stags on a tree!

It's a sort of tree with two Scottish stags.

DAVID: Yeah.

TAMZIN: Aw...

Thinking of home.

Thinking of home.

Right, OK. VO: Right, you four, it's time to start today's adventure.

NATASHA: Let's go!

Yes.

Clear, clear, clear.

Woohoo!

VO: Our actors are heading back to Worthing, where they're going to learn about one of the world's most famous playwrights, Oscar Wilde.

Linda and David are meeting up with Victoria Cleary-Symonds, a resident expert on all things Oscar.

We're sorry, we don't really associate Oscar Wilde with Worthing.

VICTORIA: No.

DAVID: What's the connection?

Funnily enough, he stayed on a seaside family holiday just over there.

DAVID: Really?

VICTORIA: Just round the corner.

VICTORIA: They rented a house, a lovely house.

Oscar Wilde mentioned in a number of letters there is no writing room.

So...

Horror.

Quelle horreur.

VICTORIA: Quelle horreur.

Absolutely.

VO: Writing room or not, Wilde's famous play The Importance of Being Earnest was written here.

It's about two men who both pretend to be called Ernest in order to win the hearts of two women who say they can only love men called Ernest.

But you might know it from the famous line, "A handbag!"

Our celebs and experts will perform a short scene here at the Pavilion Theatre.

Across town, Tamzin and Natasha are popping into a costume shop to prepare for the roles of Lady Bracknell - she of handbag fame - and Gwendolen Fairfax.

Helping them get in character...

Welcome to Worthing.

..is actor Amelia Armande.

Hi, Amelia.

Thank you for having us.

TAMZIN: Oh, that's perfect.

It is perfect, actually.

TAMZIN: Oh, I need some gloves.

These, I think, are for a very small person.

AMELIA: I think so.

TAMZIN: But they fit.

AMELIA: I think we probably want a parasol as well.

NATASHA: Oh, look at that!

AMELIA: Oh, that's good.

It's... You seem like a different person all of a sudden.

VO: But Oscar Wilde was also playing a part.

Whilst married, he was having an affair with the poet Lord Alfred Douglas, nicknamed Bosie, who was the son of a very powerful aristocrat, the Marquess of Queensberry.

There are many people who would nowadays say that perhaps his nature, as he called it, and we would say sexuality, was maybe more complex than simply gay.

We look back, it's very easy to think in terms of binary terms that they were living a lie, they were really this or they were really that.

He was also a father.

He also felt... And was a husband.

VICTORIA: And was a husband.

JULIE: Yeah.

VO: In late Victorian England, being gay, or bisexual, came with the threat of imprisonment.

I think it's tricky in 2023 to look at this through a modern lens.

VICTORIA: On the one hand... JULIE: Yeah.

..queer people have always existed and they've always been hidden in plain sight.

And he clearly loved his family.

I mean, just the children's stories that he wrote.

You could see that he loved his children dearly and he wrote these stories in honor of them.

I mean, they were so beautiful.

Yeah, a profound sense of magic.

JULIE: Yeah.

VO: Let's pop across town for some more magic in the making.

I think probably what we want for Gwendolen is a green.

That's quite nice because she's quite naive as well, isn't she?

NATASHA: So a bit green.

AMELIA: Absolutely.

NATASHA: Pop that in place.

AMELIA: Oh, that's great.

How do you feel about that?

OK, I mean, I'm starting to feel slightly different, I have to say!

(GASPS) We've done it.

Gwendolen is starting to come to life!

NATASHA: This is very exciting.

AMELIA: There you go.

Absolutely fantastic.

Yes, I am Gwen, please call me Gwen.

From now on, I've now gone full method.

NATASHA: If anyone... TAMZIN: Don't worry.

..says Natasha, I won't even respond.

VO: The Importance of Being Earnest opened at the St James Theatre in February 1895, but the year of Oscar's greatest success sowed the seeds of the catastrophe that would engulf him just months later.

VICTORIA: It's heartbreaking in many ways that it was on the opening night of that play that the Marquess of Queensbury came to the theater.

At opening night, he presented a bouquet of vegetables... ..with a badly written note, accusing Wilde of posing as a sodomite.

I... JULIE: Well.

DAVID: Right.

Yes, I mean, there are some homophobes that really do have too much time on their hands.

JULIE: Absolutely.

VO: Wilde, with the encouragement of Bosie, sued the Marquess of Queensberry for libel.

Was the play still on while the trial happened?

VICTORIA: It was.

JULIE: OK. VICTORIA: So his name was removed from the billing while it was still being performed, which is... Savage.

..heartbreaking.

That career high, perhaps his best comedy, just ruined entirely.

That must have been very stressful.

Must have been very difficult for his wife.

His wife and his sons had to change their name.

DAVID: Mm.

JULIE: Yeah.

To put it in perspective, at his trial, it was the first time that a number of national newspapers even published the word "homosexual".

JULIE: Homosexual, yeah.

VO: Wilde lost the case and spent two years in prison.

His health and reputation were ruined and he died penniless in Paris in 1900.

He never saw his sons again.

One of the memories that Oscar Wilde's sons talked about later on in life, that he was at his best by the seaside.

He loved to play with them, build sandcastles, play games with them on the beach.

And so it does sound like they did have an idyllic summer.

It's very sad that it was the last summer that they were able to spend together.

VO: In honor of Wilde's last happy summer, let's celebrate his legacy.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats as this afternoon's performance is about to begin.

DAVID: Gwendolen... JULIE: (GASPS) ..will you marry me?

Of course I will, darling!

TAMZIN: Mr Worthing!

I am engaged to Mr Worthing, Mama.

You are not engaged to anyone.

When you do become engaged to someone, I will inform you of the fact.

Now, to minor matters.

Are your parents living?

I was found.

Found?

Yes!

TAMZIN: He's very good.

DAVID: I am good!

I didn't know how good I was, actually.

Where did the charitable gentleman find you?

In a handbag.

A handbag?!

DAVID: In the cloakroom at Victoria Station.

It was given to him by mistake for his own.

Good morning, Mr Worthing...!

Someone phone my agent.

VO: Bravo, indeed!

Natasha and Lady Bracknell, also known as Tamzin, are heading inland for their next shop.

I want to ask you how you got into acting, but I want to do it in a thespy way.

So where did your journey begin?

TAMZIN: So, I fell into it by doing musical theater.

I did eight years in the West End.

Oh, wow.

Doing all the different shows.

When you were first taken on by EastEnders, did that make you a bit trepidatious?

Like, oh, am I forever going to be associated with this production?

I think when I first got it I do remember thinking, "Oh, this could be a blessing or a curse."

Mm.

And then I also remember thinking, "But it's just a three-month contract."

I didn't ever think, "Oh, this is gonna last for three and a half years".

Is that how long it was?

TAMZIN: Yes.

NATASHA: That's amazing.

Have you ever been cast as a real baddie?

TAMZIN: Oh, yeah.

NATASHA: A real baddie?

TAMZIN: My kids always say, when I do guests in, you know, things like Midsomer Murders and all of that, my kids always say, "You're always the murderer!"

"Why are you always the murderer?"

VO: Yeah...

Remind me to run if I see you in a library with a candlestick!

The next stop on this road trip is Steyning, which is said to be the resting place of the Saxon King Aethelwulf, father to Alfred the Great.

Yes, the one that burnt the cakes.

Burning to spend their remaining £120, they're heading into Steyning Antiques, which is inside this gorgeous Tudor-style building.

OK... NATASHA: So, that is a chatelaine.

So the lady of the house would have worn that on her belt.

So of course she wouldn't be wearing trousers at this point.

We're in 1902, we would have been, like you, wearing a skirt, but a big petticoat, and then that would sit, the chains would sit against the shape of the skirt.

VO: Used to hold keys and other handy domestic items, the name is associated with the mistress of a castle or a fine house, who would be a chatelaine.

NATASHA: If you need to know your orientation desperately, desperately, then you grab your compass.

Your baby's whining, give it a teether with a whistle.

This looks like it might possibly be snuff.

NATASHA: Oh, it could be.

It's probably smelling salts.

TAMZIN: Smelling salts, in case you faint.

Every time you stepped on the boards... TAMZIN: Yeah.

..that jangling around would be such a cool indication... NATASHA: .."Oh, here she comes."

TAMZIN: Definitely.

NATASHA: I mean, this is solid silver.

That's why we can date it so accurately, because it's 1902, 1903 is the hallmark.

VO: £495.

I say.

Best keep looking while we catch up with Julie and David.

They're foraging 16 miles away in Rustington.

The world's largest hot cross bun at the time was made here in 2002.

It was more than 4ft across and weighed 42kg.

Crumbs!

It's very good to co-ordinate an outfit.

Oi, I'm here!

VO: But this might be taking it too far.

DAVID: You are the Invisible Woman!

What can I say?

DAVID: You have so many talents, it's shocking.

I know.

How much cash do we have left?

185.

VO: You'd better get in the shop and spend it, then.

CocknBull Collectables is full of objects from past times and one-off pieces, all gathered by shop owner Bob.

Ah, nice titfer, by the way.

DAVID: Mm, a bit of a gavel going on.

Bit of a gavel going on!

Very appropriate for what we're up to.

JULIE: Oh, it's from Nelson's flagship.

DAVID: Yeah, Foudroyant, built in the latter years of the 18th century, and a highly successful warship that was just positively bulging with British pride.

In 1897, HMS Foudroyant was wrecked... (GASPS SOFTLY) Wow.

DAVID: ..off the beaches of Blackpool.

VO: Rather than leave the ship to rot away, some of the timbers were made into souvenirs.

That's really interesting.

Yeah.

From huge posh cabinets, dining tables, chairs... JULIE: To gavels.

DAVID: ..to gavels.

(GASPS) That's great.

That's like a little piece of history right there.

DAVID: From 1799 or thereabouts, fighting during the height of the Napoleonic Wars, that timber has seen it, has felt it, has heard it.

JULIE: It's got a great story.

DAVID: Hm.

JULIE: It's £65.

DAVID: OK. Well...

I think, with my new-found skills, we could definitely get them down a wee bit.

You'll get that for 20 quid with your new-found skills!

OK, well, let's put it here for now.

DAVID: OK. Well spotted.

JULIE: OK. DAVID: Like that.

What do you think?

He's a bit silent, isn't he?

JULIE: Strong, silent type.

(WHISPERS) He's a bit rubbish as a team player.

JULIE: He's very cute, though.

VO: We'll trot back to Steyning now, where Tamzin and Natasha still have £120 weighing down their pockets.

I know we have already wandered down the path... NATASHA: ..of interior lighting.

TAMZIN: Hm.

NATASHA: But I'm quite interested in these wall sconces... TAMZIN: Yeah.

NATASHA: ..that are in the style of Tiffany, so very art nouveau.

And the thing that I think private buyers really like about them is they find a spot for them in their home that will just be bathed in color when the lights go on.

Mm... Cuz when it comes through those dragonflies, it's red, it's blue, it's orange.

I mean, I have to ask, we're here shopping for you to take to auction, yes, but would you take those home?

No.

NATASHA: No.

OK.

I'm the same!

You said lighting goes really well.

I did say that, but you won't hold me to that, will you?

Of course I will, cuz if they don't sell very well and we lose money on them, I can blame you.

You've gone a bit Lady Bracknell, just so you know.

It's really gone to my head, the character.

Where's your fan?

You've gone full Bracknell.

Yes.

Would Julie like those or would she make fun of you?

TAMZIN: Julie would make fun of me at any given opportunity.

NATASHA: Right.

Doesn't matter what it is.

TAMZIN: So, for her, they would be like the dog picture for me.

Well, you did go quite hard.

You know, karma.

Karma...

Exactly.

I'm gonna get it, aren't I?

Yeah, you might!

So she brings a dog to the table, maybe you bring four dragonflies to the table?

Yes.

OK. Do you want to keep looking and...?

No, I think we need to make a decision.

I think they look quite expensive.

They're £45 each.

VO: So decisive, Tamzin.

You will have those wall sconces.

Did you say you saw something else you liked over there?

Oh, there's a bell.

There's a bell.

Right, OK, so these are a maybe.

TAMZIN: Yeah.

NATASHA: To the bell.

TAMZIN: Yes.

NATASHA: Please, please.

OK. TAMZIN: Oh.

NATASHA: Oh, it's a bell.

OK!

There is nothing that you don't love, which I really like about you.

Sounds great.

So you're calling your family to dinner, are you?

Absolutely.

Oh, it's £68, but I like the fact that it's got bamboo in it, too.

Yeah, I mean, we've kind of gone full circle because, in the first shop we visited, you really enjoyed those bamboo cabinets.

TAMZIN: Yeah.

But we just felt they'd been tampered with a bit.

But this just looks right.

It looks as it would have looked, say 1900, 1905, something like that.

TAMZIN: Yes!

NATASHA: So... NATASHA: ..it's the oak stand that really helps me to age it, actually.

That's what's making me think it's 20th century, not 19th.

VO: Items like this bell might have been given as a reward for hard work or as a retirement gift.

Let's see if we can get that for 50?

Let's see if we can.

Cast tassels, cast bamboo - I think it's maybe cast a bit of a spell over you.

Oh, very good.

NATASHA: You like it?

TAMZIN: Yes.

VO: Time to find shop manager Ed and see if a double deal can be done.

Remember, they have £120 left to spend.

TAMZIN: Hello.

ED: Hello.

TAMZIN: I'm really excited.

ED: Right.

So we need the two Tiffany lights.

ED: OK. TAMZIN: We need the bell.

ED: Right.

TAMZIN: The two Tiffany lights at the moment at £45 each.

That's 90.

What we really want them is both for 45.

So buy one, get one free.

ED: Mm-hm.

And the bell, which is 68, we can't really pay more than 40 for that.

Alright.

OK. TAMZIN: Your voice went a bit croaky and shaky then.

ED: It did then, yeah.

I just wondered why you can't pay more than 40.

Because we haven't got enough.

Oh, right.

OK. VO: Ed doesn't seem impressed with that.

Try again, Tamzin.

So, our final offer... 50 for both of the lights... ED: OK. TAMZIN: ..and 50 for the bell.

ED: OK.

I was thinking more of a bundle of 120, but... Could it be 100?

Go on, then, ladies.

NATASHA: Oh, yes!

TAMZIN: Yes.

OK.

Shake the man's hand.

VO: £50 for the wall lights and 50 for the bell concludes the shopping and leaves just £20 unspent.

TAMZIN: £100.

VO: Lovely.

NATASHA: Thank you very much.

TAMZIN: Brilliant.

Do you want to go grab the bell, I'll grab the lights and we'll be on our merry way?

TAMZIN: Yes, thank you.

ED: Bye.

NATASHA: Thanks, Ed!

ED: Thank you.

Pleasure doing business with you!

All done.

And I like your style.

I loved it.

VO: In Rustington, Julie and David still have £185 in their coffers.

Hello again!

We must stop meeting like this!

(CHUCKLES) Do you come here often?

(CHUCKLES) VO: So, what's this that's caught Julie's eye?

Oh, let me hold one... DAVID: Oh, gosh.

JULIE: Beautiful.

DAVID: You hold that one.

First of all, I love old tiles.

Mm, do you?

Yeah, I really do.

I love...

Especially when they're just kind of single.

Yeah.

And then sort of putting them together... Like little miniature pieces of art... DAVID: ..aren't they?

JULIE: Yeah, exactly.

DAVID: It's all hand-painted.

JULIE: So how old would they be?

DAVID: 17th century... 17th.

JULIE: 17th, really?!

Think of the time of the English Civil War.

JULIE: (SOFTLY) Wow.

DAVID: Where do you think they were made?

JULIE: France?

DAVID: Sort of, almost.

Continent... Holland.

JULIE: Holland, OK. DAVID: They're Dutch.

Right.

But they are Dutch in the style of the Chinese.

VO: Made to imitate highly prized and highly priced blue-and-white ceramics from China, the far-cheaper Dutch cobalt-decorated, tin-glazed pottery went on to be very desirable in its own right.

Dare I say it, these are drop dead gorgeous.

(GASPS) Oh, well, I think so.

DAVID: Drop dead.

JULIE: I love them.

I just...I adore them.

JULIE: So that's £95 for the pair.

DAVID: For the pair.

I reckon the auction estimate would probably be 40 to 60, 60 to 80, but they might make over 100.

JULIE: OK.

So it would be down to your negotiating skills, which are pretty remarkable.

OK. VO: Brace yourself, Bob.

So, Bob, I have a proposition for you.

BOB: Oh, dear.

JULIE: Oh... (LAUGHS) JULIE: Don't be afraid.

DAVID: Get prepared.

So I'm gonna make you an offer.

I mean, it's probably insulting, but I'm gonna offer you 50.

Mm, I can't do it.

OK, not 50, but what would be your best price?

Not my best price, but your best price.

My best price.

The least I could do is 60.

I'm very happy with that.

I like making people happy.

VO: That leaves £125 left over.

DAVID: That's it!

JULIE: I know.

That is it.

I'm so pleased with these.

I know.

Aren't they just fabulous?!

I know.

They're absolutely gorgeous.

I'm very pleased, very chuffed.

DAVID: Well done, you.

JULIE: Thank you.

VO: Time for Julie to catch up with her best pal.

Do you know, I've never been to an auction before.

TAMZIN: Haven't you?!

JULIE: No.

This is my...

I'm gonna pop my auction cherry.

Auction cherry.

I know, I can't wait.

Oh, There's something that's...

It's quite exciting.

It's like a secret club, auctions.

I'm quite attached to my items now, like my children.

(GEARBOX CRUNCHES) This isn't happening, is it?

Push.

(MUTTERS) That's it... That's it!

VO: Hopefully they'll have more luck with the gear that they've selected at the auction tomorrow.

But first, shuteye.

VO: Say hello to Aylsham in Norfolk.

The man on the sign is John of Gaunt, son of King Edward III, who lived here in the 14th century.

Let's hope there's a princely number of bids in the saleroom, on the phone and on the net.

Henry Hammond is in charge here... ..at Keys Fine Art Auctioneers.

After foraging through Sussex, our brace of actors have arrived in Norfolk.

NATASHA: How are you feeling?

JULIE: Good!

Excited, yeah.

TAMZIN: Excited.

Are you acting this air of confidence?

Not at all.

I'm just excited to beat Tam.

OK. Do you know what we should do, then?

Nip in first.

Come on, Julie.

NATASHA: Unbelievable.

It would be the first time, so let's just let her if she does.

NATASHA: (LAUGHS) OK. VO: Tamzin forked out £380 for five lots, hoping for a healthy uplift in the saleroom.

JULIE: That's actually really nice.

That's a really good ladder, isn't it?

Shall I pull it out?

JULIE: Shall we hide it?

DAVID: (LAUGHS) Uh, excuse me.

Are you taking the mick out of my ladder?

Oh, no, she's watching.

Just... No.

Oh, it's lovely.

Hands off.

Put that down, please, that's my ladder.

JULIE: I'm just saying it's lovely.

Climbing up my ladder... We're just being kind because we don't want... We don't want anyone to... We don't want it to break.

There.

There you go.

(WHISPERS) That's fine.

(WHISPERS) Come on, let's go.

VO: Naughty.

Now, Julie splashed £275 of the cash on her five items.

TAMZIN: Well, you said lighting does go really well at auction.

Yeah, but forget that.

Would you like this?

It's my favorite thing that I've seen of theirs.

You prefer it to the dog?

TAMZIN: Definitely.

NATASHA: OK. Oh... That's broken.

Definitely not me.

No.

Right.

OK, in that case, I would just pop it back and let's keep going.

VO: Talking of breakages, one of Julie's retro wall lights was damaged in transit, so we've awarded her the value of the median auction estimate, which was £75 for the pair.

DAVID: Acrobatic move...

Squeeze yourself in.

VO: First under the hammer are Tamzin's gilt-bronze wall lights.

NATASHA: Are you ready to... DAVID: Go on.

..make money?

I think we're gonna make money.

You think you're gonna make money?

OK. 150...seems like such a good deal for four.

OK. And straight in.

Here we go.

These are lovely.

I think they will make money.

£65... Keep going, keep going, keep going.

65.

75.

70.

They're bronze.

They're bronze.

75, 75, 75, 75, 80, five.

85, 90, five.

100, and 10, 110, 120, 130, 130, 140, 150... DAVID: Oh.

NATASHA: One more, one more.

HENRY: 150 here.

NATASHA: One more, one more.

At 150.

Anybody else, then, at 150?

At £150.

NATASHA: Oh, come on!

HENRY: Done, then... NATASHA: No!

TAMZIN: Oh...!

You made a profit.

No, that's what we paid.

VO: Nearly broke even, actually.

But there are four more chances to profit.

Oh, that was so close, teasingly close.

Mind you, there was a bit of commission off there.

I thought it was 120 you were at.

NATASHA: No.

Would've been good.

DAVID: No... Bad luck.

VO: It's the dog portrait.

Tamzin didn't understand the appeal, but will the bidders?

I would expect what you're about to experience, cuz I think you're going to make a profit, is the nicest feeling in the world.

Can I shout?

When you make money at auction, it's marvelous.

NATASHA: So get ready for full adrenaline, OK?

We were so close.

Oh, my God.

We nearly got adrenaline, but we didn't.

Yeah.

Here we go.

And we go straight in here, then.

JULIE: (WHIMPERS) Oh... A very diminutive price of £5 on the internet.

What?

That's outrageous.

HENRY: Five, at five.

NATASHA: It will build.

At eight, now, at eight.

At eight, at eight, at eight, at eight.

10 now, at 10.

At 10.

At 10, 12.

At 12, 15.

Come on.

Yeah, there's competition.

There's competition.

HENRY: 18, then, at 18.

DAVID: Go on.

JULIE: Come on, yes...

Yes.

DAVID: Go on.

HENRY: At 18.

In the room, then... Come on, internet.

HENRY: At £18 and done, then... DAVID: No.

TAMZIN: Yes.

JULIE: What?!

DAVID: No!

TAMZIN: Yes!

JULIE: That is...outrageous.

TAMZIN: I said it all along.

VO: Well, I think the buyer got a bargain, Julie.

TAMZIN: I'm so sorry... JULIE: You're so pleased.

..because you kept all saying, "this is definitely making a profit".

I know.

And I kept looking at it, going, "I just don't see it".

VO: Let's see if your little stool does any better.

I felt really attached to it because I just wondered how many bottoms had sat on it.

I thought it was very cute.

NATASHA: It's so rustic.

TAMZIN: Rustic.

But what did you pay for it?

NATASHA: We paid 30.

Straight in, then, at eight, 10 on the internet now.

At 10, at 10, at 10, 12 now.

At 12, at 12.

Yeah, come on.

In the room, then, at 12.

Go 15, internet, 15 on the internet.

18, then, at 18.

You can do anything with it.

Anything.

At 18, 20.

At 20, at 20, at 20.

Sit down, watch TV on it.

HENRY: 22, 22.

Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk.

DAVID: Oh, dear God, please put the hammer down.

That's cheating.

Goodness me, I've never had that before.

22.

Anybody else, then, at 22?

Anybody else?

At 22, and done, then... DAVID: Oh... TAMZIN: Oh... NATASHA: So close.

JULIE: 22.

VO: No point in crying over spilt milk, eh?

Two little boo-hoos, 22.

Two little boo-hoos, 22.

VO: Squaring off next, it's Julie's Delft tiles.

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

And you went 17th century antique, OK. DAVID: Yeah.

Yeah.

JULIE: Yeah, that is true.

I think this is your worst, this is.

Straight in, then, at £22, 25.

JULIE: Come on.

NATASHA: I think it's happening.

I think a profit's happening.

HENRY: At 28.

DAVID: 17th century.

30, then, at 30, at 30.

Two, then, at 32.

Come on.

32, 35.

35, 35.

38, then, at 38.

38, 40 internet.

80, 80, 80.

..42 then.

Anybody else, then?

At 42... DAVID: Oh, no!

JULIE: What?!

Done, then... NATASHA: Oh, no!

JULIE: What a deal.

VO: That was a bargain for someone.

We are dreadful at this.

NATASHA: So are we!

DAVID: So are... Yeah.

VO: Well, the porter found where the ladder was hidden.

Personally, I think the ladder will go for, like, 50, 60.

DAVID: Yeah.

NATASHA: I think even... NATASHA: ..30, 40.

I mean... TAMZIN: (GASPS) I'd buy it.

Can I buy it, if it's...?

Well, I'd buy them at 30 or 40.

I think you're probably right, that's what they are.

Unless that shape is very rare, which it probably is.

It's a bit rare-r.

I like the tapering.

It's a fruit-picker's.

It's a fruit-picker's, yes.

I'm thinking it's going to end up in a florists... TAMZIN: Yeah.

NATASHA: ..with display things.

Beautiful for that... Straight in at 18, 20 now on this, then.

HENRY: At 22, then.

At 22.

NATASHA: Come on.

NATASHA: Climb.

HENRY: 22, 25, 25, 28, then.

NATASHA: Yes.

HENRY: At 28.

HENRY: 28, 30, two now, internet.

At 32 on the internet, then.

At 35 now, internet.

Do you want to go 38?

At 35.

On the internet, then, at 35.

Anybody else?

38 now.

Internet then at 38.

I'd pay 50.

On the internet then at £38.

And done, then... NATASHA: Oh, that's sore.

TAMZIN: Oh... DAVID: Oh.

VO: Didn't quite reach the heights they wanted.

JULIE: Don't cry.

DAVID: Aww.

And there are probably loads of orchards around here.

This is... Orchards, yeah.

Loads of orchards.

VO: It's Julie's lamp in the spotlight next.

Do you know where I think that's going to end up?

DAVID: Where?

NATASHA: A hotel.

NATASHA: It's very hotel.

DAVID: It's perfect for that.

Or a Scottish manorial hall.

JULIE: My Scottish... DAVID: Yeah.

Your old people's home.

Straight in here, then, at five.

At eight, then, at eight.

At eight, at eight... Long way to go, there.

What did you pay for it?

HENRY: 15, 15, 18.

At 18.

At 18, at 18.

20 then.

At 20, at 20.

At 20, 22 then.

22, 25.

25, 25, 28.

30.

At 30.

It's gonna happen.

It's gonna happen.

HENRY: At 32, then.

32, 35, 35, 35.

This side, you want to go 38?

38 then.

At 38, 40.

This side at 42.

42, 45.

45, 45.

Yes!

48, then, 48.

Anybody else, then?

JULIE: Yes!

DAVID: Go on!

TAMZIN: (GASPS) HENRY: £48.

I'm done, then... Oh, so close!

VO: Very nearly in the money, there.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Oh, shut up.

Ee!

The insincerity is a bit...

I don't know whether it's an act or it's natural.

She can't even be bothered putting on an act.

That's her job.

VO: Tamzin's Tiffany-style wall lights next.

Straight in we go on the internet.

£10.

12, now.

At 12.

He's surprised at 12, actually surprised.

HENRY: 18, now.

At 18, 20.

Two, then, 25.

25, 28, then.

At 28, 28.

30 now.

Come on, come on, come on.

HENRY: At 30.

At 32, then.

At 32, 32.

32, 35, 35, 38 then.

At 38, at 38.

At 38, 40.

Still going then at 40 on the internet, then, at 40.

NATASHA: Keep going.

HENRY: At 40 on the internet.

Anybody else, then?

On the internet.

DAVID: Going down here.

NATASHA: Oh, no!

DAVID: Hammer's going down... HENRY: Done, then... NATASHA: Close!

DAVID: Gone.

JULIE: Gone.

TAMZIN: Not 1p... JULIE: Going, going, gone.

DAVID: Gone!

VO: That's a shame.

I thought they might make more.

I love it how the real characters are coming out.

TAMZIN: Look at you!

NATASHA: It was so close.

JULIE: Oh, but so far!

TAMZIN: Just £10.

DAVID: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

NATASHA: Please...

..I take full responsibility.

VO: Let's see if Julie's last item, the soapstone carving, can wash its face.

It's a lovely gift for somebody.

Straight in here, then, at five, at eight, then, at eight.

10 now.

At 10.

12, then.

At 12, 15, 18.

At 18, 22, 22.

25, 28, 30, two.

32.

32, seated, then.

It is, it is massive.

HENRY: 35.

Right at the back, then, at 35.

HENRY: Anybody else, then?

DAVID: Oh, come on.

38, then.

At 38.

40.

DAVID: Go on.

HENRY: At 40.

JULIE: Come on.

HENRY: At 40.

DAVID: Come on.

HENRY: At 42, then.

At 42.

42, 45.

45.

45, 48.

48, 50.

At the back then at 50, at 50.

At 50.

JULIE: At 50, at 50.

DAVID: Come on.

55, 55.

Anybody else, then?

Seated then?

At £55, I'm done, then... DAVID: (SOBS) VO: Someone had some good luck with that.

Going, going, gone.

VO: Tamzin's last lot, the bell, needs to ring true.

I think you should give it a wee ring, for a laugh.

This is our last chance saloon.

Don't you worry.

Throw everything at it.

She's gonna milk it.

She doesn't need any encouragement.

Why don't you sit on the milking stool and do it?

Where are we gonna start on this?

Five on the internet.

At five.

At five.

At eight, then.

At eight.

At eight, 10, 12, then.

At 12.

At 12.

At 12.

Ringing it has accelerated it to double figures.

Yes, yes, yes.

12, 15, now.

At 15, 18, 20.

At 20, at 20.

At 20, at 20.

Two now, internet.

At 22.

Julie, it's time to take your meds.

On the internet, then, at 22.

Anybody else, then?

On the in... 25 then, at 25.

Oh!

Anybody else then at 25?

Anybody else then?

At £25.

DAVID: Oh... JULIE: Bargain.

Bargain.

DAVID: Oh, well done.

DAVID: Amazing performance.

NATASHA: It lost money!

VO: At least the demonstration was priceless.

That's really disappointing, because I feel that the ringing of the bell did actually... DAVID: Oh, it improved the bids.

JULIE: Got it to double figures.

NATASHA: It did, it did.

TAMZIN: Up by £5.

DAVID: Yeah, yeah.

JULIE: Is was about a tenner!

But it's been good fun, though, hasn't it?

JULIE: So much fun.

TAMZIN: So much fun.

And didn't we say that whatever is going to happen... You will remember this forever, won't you?

JULIE: Forever.

TAMZIN: Definitely.

TAMZIN: Have you met us before?

JULIE: What's your name again?

And also, we're just providing actors an emotional experience that you can tap into next time you need to... Next time I need to be disappointed.

NATASHA: Trauma!

(LAUGHS) TAMZIN: Remember that auction, Jules?

Remember... (SIGHS) It will send me right back.

That's all we were doing, actually.

Just creating a method experience for you.

JULIE: Thanks for that.

TAMZIN: That's wonderful.

Shall we go and get some air?

Yes.

No one made money but who lost more?

Or who lost the least?

VO: Let me help.

Tamzin and Natasha started this road trip with £400.

Sadly, they made a loss and, after auction costs, finish with £245.50.

Julie and David also began with £400 and, after costs, made a smaller loss.

They ended with £320.16, making them today's winners.

We've all won.

We're all winners.

JULIE: Exactly.

DAVID: Well... We've had a really lovely time.

And the actual auction, I thought, was really mind-blowing and I loved it.

Genuinely, it's been a glorious day.

What would you rather be doing?

Staying in a hot, cooped-up building or in your garden?

Just winning.

Never mind your garden.

Leave us behind and go for one final drive.

DAVID: Yes, enjoy the car.

JULIE: Let's get in Dyane.

Yeah, bye bye, lovely to see you.

NATASHA: Well done.

TAMZIN: Thank you.

TAMZIN: I've had such a great time.

JULIE: Thank you so much.

DAVID: My pleasure.

Marvelous.

JULIE: See you again.

DAVID: Bye bye, bye bye.

David, we have to get better at this.

VO: Yes.

Meet me after school, you two!

But have our two stars of the screen enjoyed themselves?

TAMZIN: I feel like now I'd like to go and see some more auctions.

Yeah, I'll definitely go, because next time I go, I want to buy something because there were so many things I wanted to buy.

TAMZIN: Were there?

JULIE: Yeah.

Didn't you?

Did you want to buy my stuff?

VO: Well played, ladies.

Until next time.

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